A Perfect Fit

“Did you hear what he just said?” my husband asked pointing to Declan.

“No, what?”

“We were sitting over there on the boardwalk bench looking at the ocean and he said, ‘don’t you just love the blessed blue ocean?’  Isn’t that great?  He said it like, 3 times!”

I started to nod but then Bobby interrupted.

“Oh, wait Dad.  I know what that is from but it something I can’t talk about right now.  Declan is just scripting.”

My husband and I both look at Bobby.

“Oh – it’s from your video game, huh?”

“Yes,” Bobby admits and tells us the entire dialogue script as we walk as a family along the boardwalk.  Declan is listening and repeating the lines to himself.

But why wasn’t Bobby allowed to talk about it?

Working for a Great Family Day

Earlier that day I walked down the hallway into the kitchen.

“And you,” my husband points to me, “are going to work on smiling more today.”

“What?”

“Each one of us is going to pick something that we would like to work on today so we have a great day together as a family.  I get to pick yours.  Less moping, more smiling.  Okay?”

“I guess.  What is everyone else working on?”

“I am not going to get frustrated and grit my teeth.  Catelyn said she was not going to cry or meltdown over something small.  Declan, what do you want to work on today?”

“What?” Declan asked.

“What is one thing that you do that you want to work on today so that we can all have a really great day today at the shore?”

Declan takes some time to think about the question.

“I won’t get angry today.’

My husband and I open our eyes in amazement at the level of insight Declan just stated and my husband spoke.

“Okay, great!  Declan is going to try to not get angry today.  How about you, Bobby?  What do you want to work on today so we can have a great day?”

We all look at him and he nods.

“Okay.  I know.  I won’t talk about my video game.”

“Oh, thank goodness,” I say.  When Bobby gets into something, he gets INTO something.  Right now, he is loving a new video game.  And talks about it ALL THE TIME.

“Yeah, I agree,” my husband adds, “That is a great one.”

We start to get our coats on and our stuff together to go out.

“So, we all know what we are going to work on today?  Okay, great.  Let’s go have a great family day.”

 

We went out.  We enjoyed our day together.  But as the day wore on, we all saw each family member start to drift down the road they were trying to avoid.  We coached each other as much as we could away from the behavior each wanted to change.  In the end, we all fell victim to our personal nemesis.

Declan did get angry and become physically aggressive.  Catelyn did have a very large reaction to something small and start to cry.  My husband did grit his teeth.  And although I felt like I smiled a lot, my family all thought I could have smiled more.

Bobby came out on top.  He made conscious efforts to avoid the conversation he so desperately wanted to talk about.

Despite falling to our obstacles, we had a really great family day.

This morning we went out and took a family selfie with the sunrise on the beach – part of a fun family challenge laid out for us to complete this week while we are away.

When I look at the picture I see my family working together – in this photo it was for a photo challenge.

We haven’t talked about what each of us wants to personally work on today, but I am sure we will.  And I know, as a family we will work together to support one another through the challenges we will personally face today.  And not just today, but each day.  No one in this family is perfect.  But I think we all work perfectly together.