“I just want to make sure that the dentist remembers that Declan has autism, has a ton of sensory issues, has never done this before and if things don’t go well, I will not be able to get him to come back. He already hates going to the dentist in the first place.” It all spewed out of me one hundred miles and hour while I tried to breathe.
The nurse who had stood before me nodded the entire time to assure me.
“The dentist knows all of this. If there is even the slightest indication that Declan is uncomfortable, we will stop and send him to the surgery center as we have before. We think he is ready to try this step first, though.”
Satisfied with her response, I darted from the consultation room into the waiting room. As I picked up my phone to click-through emails, I realized my hands were shaking and put the phone down before anyone noticed.
Two weeks ago, our biannual trip to the dentist left me a Nervous Nelly. Declan had cavities. And THIS time, they wanted to take care of his cavities at the dentist office under laughing gas and not the surgery center where he usually went, to be put to sleep for his oral care.
As we checked out two weeks earlier, I just stood there nodding, unsure what I was agreeing to. Could Declan even sit in a chair to have a cavity worked on?
For two weeks I was a mental mess.
What if….
What if they forgot he has autism and sensory issues? Maybe they didn’t read his chart.
What if things go bad? He will never go back.
What if when I explain to him what is going to happen, he gets too scared?
He doesn’t even know what a cavity is! He has never done this before!
What if laughing gas is bad for kids with autism? Is it any better than anesthesia?
I couldn’t even confirm the appointment. Up until the moment I put him in the car, I wasn’t sure if we were going to go.
Not that I had really figured out an alternative.
When I discussed my concerns with others, I got mixed reviews.
I looked to my husband and he was as lost as I. But then I remembered a bit of wisdom he had expressed before in a different situation and brought it back to our attention.
“We can’t assume he can’t do something. We have to let him try first.”
We put together a list of concerns or honorable mentions. I frantically researched any concerns regarding laughing gas and autism and only uncovered problems with anesthetics in general.
The day before his appointment I told a social story to Declan about the things he would see, smell and feel. I answered all his thoughtful questions with a positive upbeat response. And hey – I made sure he knew he got to miss some time from school.
I put Declan in the car. I drove the car to the dentist, and we went into the waiting room. I talked about my concerns with the nurse and parted ways with Declan.
Thirty minutes later Declan comes back to me.
“How did it go?”
“It was okay. My mouth feels weird.”
Success!
I am glad now that we tried this step. That we didn’t just assume Declan was not going to be able to have a successful trip to the dentist to work on a cavity. That we gave him a chance to try. It was way less invasive than putting him to sleep.
And thankfully, it went well!
We still haven’t figured out the dentist. I’m glad it went so well with Declan. And you!
It has been a slow process for us. I didn’t take him until he was almost five and the first visit took place on the floor with the dentist a few feet away peering into his screaming mouth. Each subsequent visit he has allowed more and more – which is great. I have my fingers crossed for you! Thank you!
This had a happy ending. So glad!
Thank you! Yes, I was a nervous wreck until I saw he was okay – and he was! So that is great 🙂
Oh, good! My younger son with sensory issues (not diagnosed autistic, though) had to be put under for his first dentist fillings. His second time was much like yours that you just described.
I feel I have to anticipate an explosion in case it happens, but put on a happy face to encourage him to try the experience on his own.
My is the same way – he has a ton of sensory issues but not diagnosed autistic and had to be put under for his just a few years ago. Subsequent visits he has been able to get work done in the chair. Now Declan can too, which is great!
Yeah, you are right. That is a good plan.
I felt so much anxiety just reading about it 😬 so pleased it went well 💕
I was so nervous – but it did! It went well, which is great 🙂 Thanks Elaine!
Oh I am so pleased it went ok. I think I would have been exactly the same as you. I think you handled it brilliantly. I must admit that I found a dentist who allows me to sit in the dental room but I ask the dentist to speak to son not me. Every visit I babble out the same incoherent words about autism. Well done.
Thank you so much. I was so nervous. I didn’t want him to have a bad experience and I am so quiet about things. I don’t make ruckus’s and was wondering if my personality was going to cause Declan pain. Thank you for your kind words and encouragement! I really appreciate them!!
My heart was racing through this! I know this so well and the anxiety it must have caused. I’m so happy everything went well, good for him!
Thank you!!
Glad it went well!
Oh that’s a great story, Robyn. We’re just coming to the stage when Nathan will have to go to a dentist proper, rather than having his bi-annual dental check at school, and I’m at a loss as to how to deal with it. It’s a big worry, but your post has helped make me feel better. Laughing gas? Is that how they deal with it? Wow – what does that do then, apart from make them laugh? Fingers crossed that things go as well for us as they did for you. Thanks for sharing yet another great story from your lovely family. 🙂
Thank you! I guess the real term is Nitrous Oxide – it puts him in a “twilight sleep” so he wasn’t fully out but not fully awake. It worked and all my worry was put to ease. I hope things go just as smoothly for you and for Nathan!
Thanks Robyn. Twilight sleep seems a good move, so maybe we can go for that the first time. Well done, Declan, for getting through something many of us have issues with anyway! 🙂
I think this is so important and good for you for being so open about your own anxieties. No doesn’t always mean no not ever. Sometimes it means not yet but we can try again another time. Even if it’s really hard to see someone struggle, they have to have the chance to try.
Thank you! Yes, it was so hard as I wanted to do the very best for him and the situation. I realized I had to let him try first – and it worked out which helped alleviate a lot of dentist anxieties I had for Declan.
Satisfying conclusion though.