Derailed

“Does Mr. Coupe ever do any of the yard work?”

The neighborhood boys were sitting, patiently watching me dismantle an old basketball net that had fallen in the street so many times, the rim was ruined.  The boys seemed to have a lot of questions and were laughably, very honest.

I laughed in my head at the question. “No, Mr. Coupe has this uncanny ability to avoid all things involving labor,” is what I wanted to say, but I went with another truth:

“Mr. Coupe has allergies, so I decide to do the yard work, so he doesn’t have to.”

The boys nodded in acceptance, and the conversation and dismantling continued.

Lately, when I am not driving children all over the county or sitting poolside watching social interactions, I have taken to outside chores.  I finally got an old rotted tree stump out of the back.  Removed all traces of weeds, and toys that fell through the cracks, from the gardens.  Trimmed all the bushes.  Edged all the gardens.  Fertilized the yard.  Restained the deck stairs.  Cleared out a clogged downspout.  Gone crazy with a fly swatter attacking all the spotted lanternflies that have infested our area and hang out on my deck. 

I am a woman of action.

There is only one thing still remaining on my list of outdoor chores to complete.  Reseal a leaky window. 

My progress in this area has been derailed because of one pesky nuisance. 

A giant spider that is hanging out below the window.

I was brave enough to trim the bushes around the spider.  Even pluck two large weeds that were setting up shop right below the monster web.

Now granted, from a distance the spider is not so intimidating. 

But really, just a few feet away and you become very aware that you could not even squish this thing with a shoe.  I think a blow torch may need to be required.

I am also thankful that I can see the thing.  I know he has a family.  Probably in the neighboring bushes, or below deck.  Somehow, standing on a ladder beside these bushes, above this spider has turned into the last thing I want to do.  Is the window really THAT leaky? 

Not today, at least. 

Spider 1, Woman of action 0.  I’m okay with that.  The spider looks happy and it is doing its part in catching and consuming spotted lanternflies.  So, okay.  The window can wait. 

Probably, though, the best chore I completed this summer has been teaching Bobby how to mow the yard.  It’s been a process.  There have been attempts to cut corners (by not cutting the corners of the yard), there have been do-overs.  A couple of teenage temper tantrums.  But dare I say, we are finally in a groove.  One less chore for me!  Hooray!

Declan has taken up attempts to help outside as well.  Every few rounds, he will take up the fly swatter and “bravely” (swat, shriek, jump, swat, observe fly for any remaining life, move on) attack the multitudes of flies spotting our deck.

The spider can have its perch. One day the web won’t be there, and maybe (maybe) I will have forgotten about the spider, and gain the courage to climb a ladder where it once built its home. Until then, Bobby can mow and Declan can shriek, or swat, these dreaded lanternflies!