Big brown ten-year-old eyes attached to a little girl were speaking to me as we sat at a table in her school library. She was nervously pinching a piece of paper between her two hands.
“I decided to go up to the basket at the funeral,” she whispered and leaned farther in, “I wanted to see if I could tell what happened.”
I shrank and sat back into my chair. I didn’t have the heart to tell her that it was a casket, not a basket. I nodded and glanced around the room to see little faces all around looking to adults to help make sense of what had happened.
Why did their ten-year-old friend commit suicide?
That had to be one of the hardest crisis responses I had to do. The children were so small. At an age where they should not be thinking about death and definitely not suicide. Most understood the concept of death – but death by one’s own hand?
Truth be told, I did not know the child that committed suicide. I was there as a response to her death to help her peers. But I was assured this death, this suicide, was an accident. The child, a girl, was well liked, happy, very involved. Demonstrated no signs of depression, isolation or suicidal ideation.
So then why suicide? Turns out, an older student relayed the “how to commit suicide” to this young child. She tested the information obtained and unfortunately succeeded.
I. Just. Can’t. Imagine.
Losing a child in that way – too young to even really understand the finality of what she was attempting.
From my experiences working in crisis, I have sheltered my kids from the concept of suicide. And started the discussion only when they were ready.
Of course, I have never had this discussion with Declan. I use the time he is engrossed in YouTube videos to have deep conversations with my older children.
So, I was EXTREMELY disturbed to learn the time I am leaving him to enjoy his YouTube videos, that there are people are putting messages of “how to commit suicide” in children’s videos, on YouTube Kids, the video platform aimed at children under eight.
I learn from this article here, that seconds of suicide instruction are nestled in between clips of a popular Nintendo game called Splatoon. Right into videos on YouTube Kids.
The video was reported and removed by YouTube – only to resurface on YouTube regular and on the YouTube Kid platform again as well.
Not only that, Dr. Free Hess, the Pediatrician that is taking a stand against these horrific videos, has discovered many more videos (when she posed as a child online) with suicide instructions, self-harm AND of sexual exploitation, abuse, gun violence and more.
All of this deeply upsets me. I have learned the power of these kind of messages on such young minds.
All my kids get completely engrossed in YouTube. Constantly listening to music, watching vines AND watching gaming videos.
But I have one that is programmed to repeat, or script, what he hears and demonstrate the funny things he has witnessed.
What is one to do?
Thankfully the article helped lay it down.
I can do my best to stay on top of what he is watching – always monitoring their videos. There are parental controls that could be put in place (although these clips apparently work their way around them).
But best of all, I can be educated of the presence of these clips, educate my kids and flag/report dangerous content. And hold developers of social media platforms responsible when age restrictions are not being followed and when they do not remove content when it is reported.
So many of our kids are engrossed in YouTube videos. Without coming across articles like this one and the one above, I would not have known the possibility of my kids getting instructions on how to hurt or kill themselves while watching their content, many of them children’s videos.
And as we know, with awareness comes action – because this needs to change.
I wish they could be removed.
I am not one to watch a lot of YouTube outside of trying to figure out how to fix an appliance or lawn mower but am more motivated now to follow my kids content and report what needs to be reported. I agree – I want them removed.
Wow! I don’t know why I’m surprised. I guess you really can find EVERYTHING on YouTube. My biggest concern lately had been his love of Sweeney Todd and wanting to act out the movie while singing. (He’s a huge fan of Tim Burton and Johnny Depp) Thankfully he’s moved on. I’m usually half listening to what he’s watching, but I will definitely be checking closer and reporting!! Why would someone even put that kind of stuff out there?!💔
I know what you mean – I can’t believe I was shocked either with all of the stuff that is out there. In the article you can see the video and how graphic it is – I was so disturbed by it that I was going to leave it up to the reader to see if they wanted to see it. Same here – I am always half watching/half listening but now I really want to be sure to check closer! So scary!
This is so so sad. Kids at that age should not have to deal with death but sadly, so sadly they often have to. I tend to be in the same room when son watches you tube, so can indirectly keep a check. Because of his Aspergers he tends to watch the same types of subjects. Only time I thought about stopping him watch something was when he went through a series about Roman emperors and it got to Caligula. But so agree it’s a worry but I want to try and let him start making decisions for himself. If I have concerns about his behaviour then I will step in.
Yes, I do the same. I know Declan watches a lot of gaming videos and to think someone could have spliced in one of these clips scares me. I don’t think he understands the finality of death, let alone death by suicide. Just want to keep that idea far away from him.
Just make sure he sticks to his subscribed channels if he ever goes back on. I told my daughter not to worry about her verified channels because, as far as I know, nothing in place has been infiltrated. Just things pretending to be those popular things they know kids are looking for. I told her no linking (which is bad even where there are no hacker issues). Youtube really needs to implement a ‘block channel’ option. Like, *really*.
Okay, thanks for the tips!
Thank you for posting this! Carter watches YouTube a lot and I’m usually aware of what he is watching but I want to make sure I’m always aware after reading this. He does repeat stuff he hears a lot from some of these he watches.
Same here – I am always kind of listening to what Declan is watching but now I want to be sure one of these clips doesn’t pop in there. So scary!
My goodness, that’s horrific! I had no idea that despicable things like that were going on. My son watches loads of YouTube videos, as does my daughter. I’ll read the article and look into it, so thank you so much for flagging it up. I just can’t understand what these twisted people are thinking when they do these vile, unimaginable things. It’s almost beyond belief. Thanks again for the heads up, Robyn.
I agree – I can’t believe people would do this. It’s awful! I am glad you found this helpful – I know I did and wanted to share!
I’m very glad, and very grateful, that you did. Thanks again.
I was reading *alll* about this today 😠
I saw it everywhere – so upsetting. 🙁
Ug, the principal just sent an email out to everyone as well. Now im on overload with stuff I can’t unsee. We will just stick to nintendo, animal jam and helix jump for the forseeable.
It’s everywhere – which I guess the awareness is a good thing but there is definitely a lot of stuff that I even need to turn off. Too much! I have my sons playing Disney Infinity together right now – safe, safe, safe 🙂
Exactly. And Mario Kart has no gross hackers 😂
It’s scary what our kids are exposed to. Parental controls work…but only on devices we (the parents) have access to. At one point my daughter found all kinds of unthinkable things on YouTube. I immediately locked down every device and had regular conversations about why that content isn’t appropriate etc. But of course she could look at the same things on other kid’s devices. There is no good way to keep them away from it, especially as they get older. Instead I focus on talking with them about it instead.
You are right – I can try and stop my kids from seeing things on their devices but they can still see them on someone else’s. I agree – talking to them and having them informed is huge.
It’s sad that people are able to edit and post these videos. The world has gone crazy, I have showed the scary momo picture to my kids and asked if they’ve ever seen it even to my 4 yr old who watches YouTube kids. They’ve all said no my 4 yr old was scared and made me change the image. My 13 yr old said it was originally a filter and some stupid person decided to try to make a scary fake challenge out of it. But she’s never seen it in a video. She knows it’s not real and she’s pretty open with her feelings which I’m thankful for. It’s sad when people are trying and succeeding at hurting our children.
Oh my, yes – that momo challenge/picture is so scary. My 7 year old (then 5 or 6) is the one who told me about Slender man because it was in some of his videos. He was educating me! I think it is great to have those conversations with our kids – because they are going to see it. So scary and sad the people are trying to hurt our kids.
Oh Dear God this is awful. I read your post to my husband and he says he has heard of things like this. It is tragic. I must speak with my daughter to find out how she is dealing with this with her children. Thank you for this post as it gets the word out there.
It is awful, I agree. I am glad this is helping to get the word out there. Our kids are seeing these disturbing clips, images, challenges and we need to know how to protect them. Thanks Anne!
I had to select “like” even though I DO NOT like this actually happening! Grew up watching the TV show “M.A.S.H.” where the theme song states “Suicide is painless”. So maybe it is not as bad aarm s we first think. rMy first suicide wasn’t until 5th grade. Granted I had no instructions. Just a hired hand on the farm walking in and interrupting me!
I used to watch a lot of M.A.S.H. too – I didn’t know that was the name of the song – wow!
I am happy that someone walked in on you and stopped your attempt(s). I value our conversations!
Heartbreaking!! Then I feel this anger come up in me that wants to attack whoever is doing this!
I agree – me too!