Does Not Qualify for Services

“What is Declan and Catelyn’s relationship like?” The principal of the school asked, “I wonder if we could use time with Catelyn as a motivator?”

“Definitely!  Declan protects Catelyn.  To Declan, Catelyn can do no wrong.  But Catelyn does do wrong and so I try to discipline her.  I will be sending her to her room and he is standing between us yelling at me to “Leave her alone!”  And I am only trying to send her to her room!”

“Oh wow, that’s something!”

“Yes,” I continued, “Catelyn protects him to, more reasonably.  There was an incident a couple of weeks ago.  Declan was misunderstood by some boys so they started kicking soccer balls at him.  Declan of course got frustrated and started throwing punches.  The boys started punching back.  It was Catelyn that saw the incident, stopped the boys from hitting Declan, and sent another girl to get an adult.  She helps him a lot too.  He even thanked her for her help on the car ride home.  It was cute.”

“That is great.  Such a sweet sister.  So, we can add time with Catelyn as a reward for Declan next year if we need to.  I also want to make sure we try to block Declan’s learning time and playground time around the hours his aid will be here.  That way he has the learning support in the classroom and social support on the playground/lunchroom if he needs it.”

As I said before, Declan is covered.  I have little concerns when it comes to Declan and his support for next year.

And remember when I said that the words no one wants to hear in that stuffy IEP meeting room are “does not qualify for services?”

Catelyn does not qualify for services.  She was evaluated by the school at one point after working in therapy.  The school felt she was doing okay academically and did not need extra support.  If I ever tried to fight their decision, I would have my work cut out for me for sure.

But do I feel she really need services?

A couple of years ago, Catelyn signed up for the wrong lunch.  She has numerous sensory issues around food and the taco salad she accidentally signed up for was not going to work out.  She tried to explain to the lunch lady her error, but she was not allowed to change.   Catelyn was crying at this point and so a teacher got involved.  Catelyn said she would eat an apple and drink  juice.  The teacher said this was insufficient and to eat the salad, which Catelyn refused.  Catelyn was then led out of the cafeteria by the teacher in front of the entire lunch room, taken to the office and I was called.

I brought her a lunch right away and spent a good ten minutes trying to put her back together.  She was overwhelmed with emotion, so I am sure when she was trying to communicate with the teacher and lunch lady it came out fuddled.  When she was ready she went back to the lunch room again to eat while the rest of her grade was out at recess, which she was going to miss.

I doubt anyone would do that to Declan.

But Catelyn does not qualify for services.

My guess is that there are very few people at the school that even know Catelyn has High Functioning Autism.  She doesn’t wear a sign that says, “sensory issues,” “social problems,” “problems with flexible thinking,” or “trying hard to regulate my emotions.”

The support that goes with services – the understanding – is lost on Cate in the big picture.  She must face her challenges quietly.  And even though she carries the same diagnosis as Declan, she does not get support.

This year she had a wonderful teacher who was willing to work with Catelyn and support her needs.   He put Cate around wonderful accepting friends and she had a great year.

I am hopeful the trend continues.  That she can be supported for her needs and continues to succeed in years to come!