“We were on the playground at school and Declan was getting upset with the boy we were playing with. I kept trying to tell him it was okay and explain, but he grabbed the boy by his head with two hands and tried to drag him to the ground.”
Little Grace turned her head to the side, looked out the window and continued.
“I put my hand on Declan’s arm and told him to stop. He finally let go and walked away crying. The little boy was upset and said Declan was mean. I told him Declan wasn’t trying to be mean. He’s just misunderstood. Actually, a lot of kids in Declan’s class think he is mean. But I keep telling them he is not. He is nice. He’s just different.”
And if she hadn’t stolen my heart already, she lassoed it again when she added,
“I think I am going to be looking out for Declan for many years to come.”
Declan’s friend Grace. The little angel that I wrote about here. The friend that tolerates the roller coaster of Declan, accepts and likes him for who he is.
And tries to get others to see the good in Declan. Not the bad.
No teacher at the school witnessed this interaction on the playground. No student reported Declan’s aggression to a teacher.
I just happened to be driving little Grace with other girls to the roller rink this past weekend for some fun. And when another child asked if Grace was friends with Declan, I heard a story about something I knew nothing about.
I didn’t hound little Grace with questions. She confirmed something I had always thought possible and had told the school to be on the lookout for – so no one would be hurt. Declan misunderstands his peers or feels he is being misunderstood and may become aggressive.
But I didn’t know, in general, his classmates thought he was mean.
Ouch.
Declan does get frustrated in the classroom. Declan can have big reactions when frustrated and requires many breaks. Maybe he scares the other kids at times?
I don’t know. But I do know what the most important part of all this is.
Grace.
When I look back through the posts I have written in the past three years I remember the challenges and the changes we have been through. I see so much growth. So much change.
I write a lot of different kinds of posts. I write informational ones. I write stories. Sometimes I try to explain a concept by writing about an event in our family. Every now and again I will even write something about myself.
This one feels like a diary post.
And I am excited to look back in three years’ time to THIS post.
In three years’ time Declan will have had more of these interactions on the playground. He will have more kids questioning if he is mean or not.
When I come back to this one three years from now, I will think of all the times Grace has helped Declan in some way. As his friend. His guide. And as Declan’s advocate, trying to help others to understand him.
Most of the times I won’t even know about.
Declan may not understand or see all the things Grace is doing for him.
But I realize it. And I am so very thankful for the blessing of Grace in Declan’s life.
Isobelle has Toby to look out for her. Now they are in senior school they only have 2 classes together, but he is there for breaks, and ensuring she gets on the bus. 😊
Aww, that’s sweet! 🙂
I think so. Just don’t know what will happen is they fall out.
Lovely post. You will treasure it when . you come back t read it in three years time.
Thank you!!
Awwwwwwww…so sweet! Ben is kind of brutal at times too. I’ve worrief that he might hurt someone. In fact, at one of his previous schools he knocked over a little girl with a broken arm. He was just being Ben. He wasn’t trying to hurt her and she was okay, but still… At his IEP his teacher mentioned that the class is a good mix. The six students all get along well.
I’m so glad that Declan has Grace! Our kiddos have a lot of challenges but I’ve noticed that they seem to attract allies too.
That is great that the kids get along well in Ben’s classroom – awesome!! Thank you! Yes, you are right – they do seem to attract some allies too!!
I’ll admit a large kernel of jealousy when I read this post. My son does not have any ‘Grace’ to act on his behalf. But, I should admit, he has a teacher now who is a positive force and often tells me such nice things about my son. For years, mostly teachers found only the challenging behaviors worth reporting. How he would lose his mind and throw tantrums or hurt himself or others. That he bit a watch off a teacher’s aide. That he pushed a kid off a slide. Then he arrived at Middle School and got a first-year teacher. I was panic stricken that she was being tested by a child like mine. That he would ruin teaching for her. And then she showed me how kind a teacher could be. I’ve said it before, the people who bring ‘grace’ into our children’s lives should be nominated for some kind of World Peace awards. Medals and roses and accolades galore to the one’s who take the time to understand and value those most challenging children.
I’m glad your son has a teacher now that is a positive force and says nice things about him. That really stinks for those other years though. I agree – they should be given some kind of award because they mean so much to our kids and to us for our kids.
I am so pleased that Declan has that special friend. Like Declan she sounds so beautiful. It’s a huge step that he has developed that bond. It will be such a boost for you as well. It is so difficult for kids like Declan and my son. We have know idea how difficult it is to adjust to this world which is often stacked against them. Every so often the sensory overload has to be released in some form. My son has talked about having to just walk out the classroom and headbut a wall. He talks about sometimes just having to be by himself and distant from others. With your support and Gracies Declan will find his own way.
Let’s see where the adventure takes you all in three years.
Some more posts about yourself would be fun maybe more about your running…
Thank you so much! Yes, I agree – it is so difficult for them. And I think with your support your son will find his way too – you are very caring and supportive of his needs.
You know, I used to have a blog about my running as well. I got rid of it when I thought it was hacked. I’ll think about writing more about myself though – maybe add some running in! Thanks!
It would encourage the likes of me to get the running shoes out more often.
That is truly so sweet.
Thank you!
You are welcome.
We all need a Grace in our lives 😇
I agree 🙂
What an awesome kid.
She’s the best
Is it possible to “clone” Grace? My son Kris really needs one
She is the best – I wish we all had a Grace with us!
We all need a friend like Grace! ❤️
I agree – she is the best!
An appropriate name for Declan’s friend Grace. Even if it wasn’t her name that is what she is in person! She acts with grace. Declan an is extremely lucky to have her in his life.
I agree – she is so amazing!!
This brought happy tears! Such a wonderful thing to have someone by your side who understands you and will always be there for you!
Thank you! I agree – she is the best!!