“Good afternoon!
I hope you all had a nice day. Declan had a fabulous first day here at school. He learned new routines, completed a craft, played outside with new friends, and was a pleasure to have in class.
It’s my hope Declan came home with a huge smile on his face. He should be proud of himself!!”
Declan started Kindergarten – things are happily, going very well.
When I drop him off at school, he is still unable to make eye contact with his teacher, who is waiting outside to greet the students as they arrive. His head is down and he blocks their ability to see each other with his book bag. He sidles in the door to stand in line. Smiling.
He tells me each day his day was “Good!” Yes, that is still all the information I get, but hey,
He smiling.
The teacher and his special education teacher agree, and have let me know in notes like the one above, Declan is doing great.
They are smiling.
All signs point to one thing
Me – I’m smiling, too.
I am so happy that he has transitioned so well to school. The extra time in preschool, the extra attention to his needs – as frustrated as I was in the past, it was all WORTH IT.
Which made me think to the post I wrote one year ago. I was frustrated. I was sad. But I knew in my heart that everything was going to be okay.
So as I sit with my smile I look back at that post and share it again today. It just wasn’t his time then. It is now.
In His Time
I did a special needs mom “no-no” this morning. I allowed myself to compare Declan to others.
Today was the first day of school for our elementary school. My older 2 kids, Bobby and Catelyn, got their new clothes on, their new book bags, their packed lunches, their school supplies and headed down to the bus stop. Clean, polished, smiling and ready for a new school year.
The “Mom”arazzi was there, camera’s flashing, getting the first day of school pictures. Our bus stop has lots of kids.
Today, the bus stop had a new member. A little boy the same age as Declan was heading into the elementary school for his first day of Kindergarten.
I am very happy for this little boy – I am excited for all the kids on their first day of school. But seeing this little boy at the bus stop brought a wave of memories and new emotions.
When Declan and this boy were babies, us moms were pretty excited. Excited the boys would be the same age on the street, growing up together, doing sports teams together and of course, they would be in the same grade. But then Declan began to have some issues. And I completely forgot about our mom excitement until today.
Today I looked at the little boy and realized Declan was supposed to be standing next to him. That I was supposed to be down at the stop taking a picture of all 3 of my kids going into the elementary school, just like the other moms. But Declan wasn’t going to the elementary school today. Today as I waved goodbye to the kids from the driveway, Declan sat inside our house watching You Tube videos, eating his morning chicken, in a diaper.
Comparison is the thief of joy. There are a lot of times when I do not even see the delays with Declan, until I spend time with a child that is Declan’s age or slightly younger. Then I see Declan’s deficits. I feel sad for a moment. There are times I feel Declan was cheated out of something typical. Something easier. Then I realize how wrong I am.
I am so proud of all that Declan has been able to work through. This will be his fourth year in a preschool setting, but he is learning. Just at his own pace. He is making friends. He is very kind to the people around him. He makes me smile every day. He is very happy. He is pure love.
Declan’s time to start elementary school is coming, but it just isn’t today. I will stop letting my mind wander and compare him to others. He is so special and unique, mastering his own road. Declan shines every day in his own way.
I am so happy that he too will be able to go to school with the other kids. He will – when it is his time
I’m so glad to read that there were smiles all round. It was sad reading the previous post, but you wee right – he’s doing it all at his own pace.
Me too! It was great to reflect of that post today – it was worth the patience as he is doing well, at his own pace.
“Declan sat inside our house watching You Tube videos, eating his morning chicken, in a diaper.” This might be the most powerful sentence I’ve ever read in a blog post. I missed this one last year and I’m glad you reposted it. I’m also happy for the progress you and Declan have made over the past year.
Wow, thank you – that is a sentence that resonates with me as well. I was thinking about this one a lot the past couple of days – a good one to reflect on. Me too! Thank you!
We all have our time!
I agree!
That’s wonderful. Isobelle has had the most relaxing holiday this year from school. She starts back on Tuesday. Sandra can’t mention it, because her anxiety will go off the wall. School is so stressful for her. Sandra never really knows how it goes, because Isobelle won’t tell the teacher, or a helper if there is one. Unless it is really bad, and then the school lets her know.
That is wonderful! Glad she has enjoyed her holiday. I hope the transition back to school isn’t too stressful on her and your daughter. We go on the same “No info is good info” from this point on – I figure if they are going to reach out at this point, it will be because something happened.
Very true
I’m so so happy for you and Declan! Sometimes in the day to day we forget how much progress these little guys make! Ben is having a few transition issues. He has a new teacher & 2 new aides so I think he’s testing them. The eloping is the scary part. We wanted him to spend an extra year in preschool but CA law wouldn’t allow it. They have to be in K when they’re 5. His bday is 9/2 so he’s young in his grade (he was 4 for a couple weeks of K) Now you can relax & enjoy your free time without worrying! That is so great!!! 🌟💐💌😃
Thank you! Wow, that is tough – I didn’t realize the state could make a law like that. I’m in PA and Kindergarten is not a required year – so I was thankful the school still took it seriously enough to put supports in place for Declan. The eloping is scary – I hope things smooth out for him and he has a great year! 🙂
He will do well when his time arrives, because of all the help you have helped him receive! If you had not known to enroll him in the proper preschool settings, where would he be today? With your help he will shine when his time actually comes.
Thank you so much!