It’s the Little Things

“I’m so EXCITED!!!” Catelyn shrieked in the car as we drove.

“I’m excited for you!” I replied checking my ears to see if they still worked after being assaulted by such a high-pitched exclamation.

“Let’s listen to some Taylor,” Catelyn stated and fiddled with the radio button.  A new song by Taylor Swift was found and her fun began.  As we drove, I learned the lyrics to the new song and a new set of dance moves.

We turned the corner and saw her friend waiting at the end of the street.  Her friend was jumping up and down and waving her arms, smiling from ear to ear.

“Catelyn!”

Catelyn jumped from the car and slammed the car door shut.  I rolled the window down, “Thanks for having her over Grace!  What time should I come back and get her?”

Grace smiled and shrugged.

“Mom, just go.  Just go!”

“I will, Cate.  How about 6?  Is that too late?”

“That sounds fine.  See you then!”

And I drove off leaving Catelyn with her friend, basking in all her happiness.

Playdates

In our town, playdates are a common thing.

When I was growing up, there were no playdates.  You were friends with the kids living in the houses near you.  You may have been closer with a friend that lived farther away – but unless they had a birthday party – you only saw them at school.

Then I had kids.  And I learned parents these days arranged for their kids to get together with other kids.  A lot!

Bobby has had thousands of playdates.  He’s gone places, been to friend’s houses, spent the night at friend’s houses.  We don’t arrange too many playdates for him these days – he arranges his own social calendar and is rarely home.  And he doesn’t call them playdates anymore.

But for Cate, things were different.  She has never gone to a friend’s house for a playdate.

She’s never been invited.

This is Cate.

Her school picture came home yesterday and I love it.  And I LOOKED at it.

If I didn’t know Cate I would say she has had a thousand playdates, just like her brother.  She has been to sleepovers.  She’s been to birthday parties.  When she is at home, she is out on the street playing with all the neighborhood kids.  Her and her friends at school commiserate all the time, planning their weekends and what elaborate fun things they will do together.

All those things, all those little things one takes for granted and may assume when they see Catelyn– well, they just aren’t true.

It is in the past year that Catelyn has made (and maintained) friendships.  Her friends have come over for a sleep over.  This year she has been able to go outside and play with kids on the street without an adult monitoring and assisting her socially.

And for the first time, a friend called and asked if Catelyn could come over to play at her house.

When her big brother came home from school, Catelyn burst: “Bobby, Bobby, guess what?  Grace called, and I am going to go over to her house and play.  It’s my FIRST TIME going over to a friend’s house to play!!  I AM SO EXCITED!!”

When I look at the picture I realize, Cate is just one of the faces of autism.  You would never know to look at her that she is working hard to function in her world.

And she is working hard.  She just had her first playdate.  It may be a small thing, but to us, it’s a BIG DEAL!