As we walked along the trail, we saw a man with his dog on the other side coming towards us. Bob took a step off to the side as I turned to retrieve the kids by the water. The kids began to follow behind me in a single file as we headed towards Bob, who was still waiting for us. As the man passed Bob, Bob gave his customary smile and politely asked, “How’s it going?”
The man recoiled in horror. He grabbed his shirt and covered his nose and mouth with it. He increased his speed and left. As he ran away, he vocalized, “It is 6 feet apart, A**hole. If you are not going to wear a mask, then don’t talk.”
In life, Bob takes the role of “The Shrugger.” As I approached Bob with “can you believe it?” eyes, he shrugged and said, “That guy was weird,” and continued to walk forward.
Me? I guess you could say I am more of “The Harper.” I tend to dwell on things. After Bob shrugged, my forefinger was in the air.
“You see?!?!” I exclaimed, “THAT is exactly the long-term negative effects of all this. The masks are the right thing to do, but they still instilled fear. Everyone is afraid! We are afraid to go out in public, and we are afraid of EACH OTHER. I can’t see how this country will move on as a whole when there is a whole part of the population that responds to a “hello” like that! And really, what did he expect coming to a trail that is at best five feet wide. He was not even wearing a mask! Yet, he preached?!?”
The family had already started moving forward. “The guy was just weird,” Bob called back with another shrug. All I could do was shake my head and run to catch up.
Recently I read a post from a doctor in Wisconsin named Dr. James Stein, a cardiologist from UW.
Dr. Stein made some notable points. At the heart of his message was that the virus is not going to go away any time soon. In the meantime, we need to find safe ways to live in the world alongside the virus.
Also, we need to stop being so afraid of each other.
I’m not as fearful of crossing paths with a stranger as this trail guy was, but I am not nearly as comfortable as these people are this past weekend.
When the shore towns eased some of their restrictions, I don’t think they meant for it to look like this, but clearly, this crowd is ready to move on. They do not appear to be afraid of anything.
I guess we are all going to figure out what we are comfortable with as time marches forward, and restrictions continue to ease. We’ll figure out what risks we are willing to take as more things open. For my area, we are getting ready to go into the yellow phase. Restaurants remained closed, but the public pool appears able to open. I’m not sure I get all the rules or theories behind the thought process; I just need to determine when I think it is okay to participate. “We’ll see” is my new summer motto.
The kids are kind of operating under the notion, “Sorry, kids. Summer’s canceled.” They know we have canceled our summer vacation and expect fun to be close to home. Like, in our home or yard.
Because right when we thought we finally financially up, the moron let he inner lab out and tore her ACL (her second). In case you were wondering, to get surgery on your dog during a pandemic, you drop your limpy dog off curbside and pick up your newly shaved, bleary-eyed, limpy dog two days later at the same curb.
“We’ll see” what happens next. “We’ll see” what I feel comfortable participating in or letting the kids join in. But it is time to take a deep breath because things are moving forward. I think it’s important to be cautious, but I don’t want us to be afraid.
Interesting post, Robyn, and one we’ll all identify with. I agree some people are going way over the top with virus paranoia and that doesn’t help. It’s going to be interesting moving forward to see what the long term social impacts will be as we all have to stop regarding everyone else as a potential threat. I reckon this aspect of dealing with the virus has done a lot of damage to society. And it’s going to be a long old summer with us all stuck at home!
Thank you, Alli! I think there are definitely going to be some long term social impacts. I can’t imagine how that trail guy handles going to the grocery store, or if he hasn’t yet, I wonder how he will handle people so close. Hopefully this summer will be a good one for both of us even if it is a home summer! Fingers crossed!
I love the cone of shame as skirt & hat. At least they have you the soft one… I had to order mine online.
If I’d been the guy on the trail, I’d be walking mask off, then put it on as I neared your group – for your protection. I might worry about infection from a non-masked hello from a stranger (I’m following the advice that the germ droplets can travel 14′) but would have simply returned the greeting, feeling that such encounters are to he expected if I go outside.
But, also, masks while outside the home are still the law here.
ps: Isn’t curbside pet care emotionally taxing?? My cat didn’t have to stay but it was still hard for me. Now I have a specialized scrip request submitted and hate that I can’t just go there and talk to the vet about it.
I would be more stressed in your situation, for sure. For me, this was the second knee to go so I knew what was happening when she pulled up lame in it. I skipped the vet and went straight to the surgeon. I wasn’t sure what the process was going to be with the pandemic, and was hoping they just did a quick eval and kept her for surgery which thankfully they did. At the same time they told me to come back 36 hours later to get her, so I had a plan from the start. Just so darn expensive!
I had an appt, then had to call from the parking lot, wait for a callback to bring the carrier to the door, wait for a callback on what was done, wait for another callback to pay, then one final callback to get her at the door. Thank gawd it was a cool day… I spent more than an hour just sitting in my car in the parking lot!
I’m afraid the stress of a trip to the vet will kill Adam so I’m trying to get pain meds without it. I’ve known our vet for 20+ yrs and she’s been great about refilling other scrips but pain meds may be different. I don’t think they’re setup for virtual consultations… maybe I can send vid of him. Who knows???
And, yeah… $$$$$
I hope your dog heals fast!!
That sounds stressful. Hope it goes well for you getting Adam his pan meds without having to visit.! Thank you!
We have a hard one but she seems so miserable – as long as she doesn’t try to pick at her incision I let her stay in the floppy flower. She looks like that dinosaur from Jurrasic Park – cracks me up 🙂
We are still at the requirement for masks to be worn at stores but not outside. That was my thing – if he was (or is, I guess) that upset about the threat of contagion then either go in the direction of other walkers or wear a mask. But don’t yell at someone for smiling at you. I don’t want us all to start being rude to each other.
Agreed!!
I’ve periodically reminded my neighborkid to step back a bit but with others, I tend to accept that there will always be some risk.
Wow.. Other people’s hate and anger can be so overwhelming. It’s very sad. Sorry you guys were on the receiving end of it, but rest assured that whilst it might have ruffled your feathers a bit, someone like that probably ricochets from one spat to another. In fact, his whole day is made up of this sort of thing.
You’re probably right. We have said a friendly hello to a ton of people at this point. They have all waved and smiled back. This man’s response came as a shocker. I would have thought that if one was that stressed about the virus then other precautions would have been taken. But your right, must be a personality thing.
Yep, totally. Some people just seek conflict. I’m shocked he was so rude though.. It’s totally normal to say hi in passing on a walk. 🤷🏻♀️
That sounds very rough Robyn. I’m sorry that you had that unpleasant encounter. You definitely hit the nail on its head when you noted that we are going to have a big problem with societal unease and anxiety even after this virus is long gone. I can already feel and see this when I go out. It’s very sad and unfortunate. I hope people remember to be kind to one another. That man’s response was a big extreme. Hope the rest of your day was better!
Thank you! We had that social encounter last Thursday and then I saw the beaches from over the weekend and was like – wow – that is such a difference. There is this crowd that wants everything like it always was and it felt like the trail man was still REALLY afraid. Maybe he had some personal issue with the virus, but then why wouldn’t he have taken precautions? It just raised a flag for me that a lot of people are going to have a hard time moving forward to being near other people. For these past months, we have been trained to stay away or be afraid of each other. Breaking that fear may be really challenging for many! Thank you!!
I think it’s a big mix of things. I think on one end, there are those like this man who is petrified. And on the other end, are those who want to return things to normal without acknowledging the new reality and need for physical distancing. That in turn can be challenging. I think a middle ground balanced approach is the best way forward. But it’s ok so hard. I feel for everyone on all ends of the spectrum.
Take good care. 🙂
At my husband’s and my age we are careful, but are going out.
I’m glad you are able to get out. I know how much you like to be moving and doing things!
With hubby’s age related dementia he has a routine. I am now missing all my 10.30 classes online from this gym just for him to sit here. Only 1 friend at either gym has he seen.
So sorry, for the rude man encountered on your walk and for the extra stress of your pup needing surgery. I’m like you, I tend to internalize the rudeness of others, chewing on it and making it all worse for the next day or two, but I’m learning to try to flip it by reminding myself that such people are maybe 1% of those I encounter and they’re probably suffering from something – mental illness, grief, loneliness, basic lack of social skills – that’s all about them and not at all about me. Hard to not take such encounters personally, but the effort to deflect it back toward them has been helpful to me.
Thank you! You are right – I need to start looking at encounters like this one from a different perspective. He probably had something else going on. I am a little concerned that as we start to open everything back up this kind of personality may surface in others.
What a Pootey Head! I’m comfortable without my mask at the corner market, if it’s not crowded. I wear it when its busy, just because we’re supposed to.
Some people are TOO afraid. I read a comment somewhere from a woman who saw her adult son from 6 feet away and didn’t hug him or get closer. If both families have been careful then hug for cryin out loud!! As everyone who reads my blog know, my younger daughter still pops in and I’m gonna hug my kid.
Paranoia won’t help anyone. Until we can all get tested, masks are good to protect others from asymptomatic carriers. I’m a hermit, that isn’t gonna change.😉😂
I still wear my mask whenever I have to go to the store – I have to – they won’t let me in without it. And I am okay with that. It was such a shock to me from encountering that guy who was so completely paranoid to seeing the large gathering over the weekend in the news. There’s a whole range of thoughts out there and both ends worry me for the future!
We can’t live in fear we have to get on with it, taking responsibility for our lives whilst respecting others. We’re told here to wear a mask if we go on public transport or into areas with more people. Wearing a mask doesn’t protect us but it protects others from us, I’m still living as I always have which is quietly away from most people. 😃
Same here – I go to the store once a week and out for walks. Most of the time we are just in our neighborhood but occasionally when we can get out we like to go to the nature trails. We have to wear a mask at stores and I am okay with that. It will be interesting to see how we continue to move forward as a society socially speaking. Seeing all the parties from the weekend where people were clearly not taking any precautions to people like the man on the trail – we just need to take responsibility for ourselves and respect others – you’re right!
Sorry you had to deal with that. I’m trying my best to be more laid back when passing people, especially because I want my son to be less anxious when some sort of normality resumes. Loved the unique dress up photos from Catelyn.
That’s a good point – our kids are watching how we react to others. Thank you! She’s a riot 🙂
“The only thing we have to fear is fear itself”
“I was afraid you were going to say something like that…”
🙂
That’s such a tough encounter for all of you . Sadly when you get the lines of Trump and Boris messing things up, you kinda expect some people to react that way. People are scared and confused. But surely you can be scared and polite at the same time. Sadly again with our leaders, polite is not in fashion. So pleased you got to breathe a little. I hope you get to do it more often without encountering the unpleasant ones.
Thank you! Really, this was the first time I had an experience like this. We walk our neighborhood and occasionally we go to the trail. People are not masked and they are so polite. There is this fear though – even I have some. When someone is standing too close, or heaven forbid if I hear someone cough. But yeah, I would still be polite – politely running away from a cough 🙂
Hahaha love those pictures, I simply love the way you explain things. Keep posting more such amazing blogs. Taking a pause in life is really important for sometime.
Thank you so much!
I’d say if your friend in the woods is so fearful, maybe he should go stand in the poison ivy while you pass. I actually hold my breath as I pass people and then do so for another 10 seconds–even when running. As you know, I’m as freaked out about the virus as anyone, but you’re right. It’s going to be with us for a long time. We’ll need to accept risk when we do anything outside the home. Calling someone else an asshole for not wearing a mask is just a reaction to fear. I was freaked out when I saw the pictures of the Ocean City (MD) boardwalk the other day. Yes, this virus is going to be with us for a very long time.
Me too! I couldn’t believe what I was seeing with such an unmasked crowd! Did you see all the people partying at the Ozarks? It is crazy how some crowds are forming without any fear. I agree that is where I am at now – what risk am I willing to take? If they are going to start opening things up I gotta figure that out for me and the fam. Right now, I figure let the crowds be the guinea pigs and we’ll just take it from there!
Well, their president tells them that masks are for wimps…
Here, the pools were closed when restaurants opened. On the neighborhood social site people get nasty arguing about masks.
That stinks. I remember reading an article about a month ago encouraging people to wear masks because then our masking behavior would encourage others to do the same. When I read that I got worried. I don’t want for us to start policing each other. It will just turn into self righteous behavior where we get nasty. Yuck.