Bobby was laughing as he opened the car door and sat in the passenger seat. Catelyn opened the back door, flopped in the seat and slammed the car door shut.
“Geez! What’s wrong?”
Catelyn stared out the window, so Bobby answered.
“She’s upset because Brianna called her a ‘basic white girl.’”
“Well, that doesn’t sound very nice. And why is she bringing race in?”
“Oh no, Mom. Basic white girl is a thing. ANY girl can be a basic white girl.”
I turned forward with a confused look on my face and put my turn signal on.
“What are you talking about?”
“Here, let me pull it up. Okay, here, on Urban Dictionary: “A basic white girl is a girl who conforms to all the latest trends, but says they are so different from everyone else. Being white is not required.” And here’s the list of what describes one: Yoga Pants, scrunchies, Starbucks, Polaroid cameras, listens to Billie Eilish, watches James Charles makeup tutorials, Instagram, Snapchat, Pinterest, Vans, Kylie lip kits, Airpods, Riverdale, latest iPhone, Hydro flask with stickers.”
Bobby put his phone to the side and looked at me, “Otherwise known as, Catelyn.”
“Shut up, Bobby,” Catelyn peeped from the back seat.
I closed my mouth which somehow was gaping. I looked out my window to see if any cars were coming and pulled from the curb into traffic.
Yes, that did sound like Catelyn.
“I’m not a basic white girl, Bobby. I’m a VSCO girl.”
What is this language these two are speaking? I wondered, Basic white girl? VSCO girl? WHAT?!?
“That’s just an app for a basic white girl, Catelyn. With a few different things on the list.”
“Whatever,” Catelyn huffed and looked out the window.
“I must say, this was a very informative car ride. I feel like I am now “in the know.”” I said smiling and nodding to the kids. “Five minutes ago, I didn’t even realize how “out of the know” I was.”
A few days later I sat at my computer prepared to do a Google search.
I typed in “What does..” and a list of frequently asked questions auto filled for my convenience.
On the very top of the list one was tinted a different color than the others. Catelyn used my computer to ask Google an important question.
“What does a VSCO girl wear?”
I clicked on the question to learn a bit more about this VSCO girl thing.
I looked at pictures, pictures of Instagram posts of items one needed to possess in order to be a VSCO girl. Birkenstocks, Hydro flask, scrunchies, choker necklaces – all items Catelyn has asked for in the past year. There were all sorts of items on this list that if one were to possess, they would be considered not just “in the know” but “in the crowd.”
I sat back and wondered.
I don’t have autism like Catelyn, but I do know the discomfort of social situations.
This socially awkward introvert HAD NO IDEA as a kid. I was never “in the know.” By the time I finally caught on to a trend everyone “in the know” was moving on to the next trend.
Google didn’t exist, let alone social media. We had a word processor which was great for term papers, but it didn’t tell me anything about trends.
I had to take the bull by the horns when it came to facing the awkward teenage years. Actually, I was more like a deer in headlights – but I faced them – as me.
Catelyn has this “luxury” of being “in the know” thanks to the internet and social media.
I am happy she feels comfortable and feels “in the crowd.”
But I will continue to encourage Catelyn to be Catelyn.
(AND that the kids keep me in the loop about these crazy trends. Thirty years later and I am still nowhere near “in the know” without their help!)
This is so spooky as I’m nearly finished saying something about being suddenly uncool and not understanding the current buzz words. I was described as so yesterday and newb. But it so tough for so many kids. Pressured to conform and then when they do often they get picked on for that. I think you are spot on encouraging her to be herself. I think it really helps having a mum who understands.
Oh my goodness, I would be so lost if they hadn’t told me all this new lingo. That’s funny – Bobby calls me a newb too. I figured if I started saying it back to him, he’ll stop – if mom says it, then it’s not cool anymore 😉 It made sense to me that Catelyn would want to mimic what she sees others wearing – heck, I would too if I were her age because fitting in the right way is better than sticking out the wrong way. I guess I am glad she is comfortable – I just want her to be herself because she IS cool being her without all that stuff.
It’s so awesome and a credit to your parenting that they talk to you. SO important! I was a social misfit trend-wise for many years. Not because I didn’t know, but because I couldn’t convince my mother of the importance. I eventually developed my own style and hoped it was okay.
When my girls reached the age that having the “right” stuff was important (middle school) I tried to provide them with the things. Some stuff was just too expensive so we worked together to find alternatives. I remembered how I felt and didn’t want them to go through what I did.
It’s tough enough growing up. Add autism to puberty and you’ve got a difficult situation. Bobby teasing Cate is regular sibling stuff, but he did you and her both a favor by bringing to light something that may have been a roadblock to her social success.
Fun post. You and your VSCO girl just rock on😘🤩😎
Holy cow, I was so happy they told me all about this stuff! Yeah, Bobby was teasing her – but it DID totally help me understand what she was going through as she sometimes has a hard time using the right words to express what happened. She will start, I will ask a question and she will blow up, yelling, “NEVERMIND!” And then I’m lost again (and so is she).
Yeah, I missed a lot of the trends and I was given a budget for back to school, Christmas and my birthday. So, I had to know about something – and then REALLY want it to use my dollars towards it. And so I did the same – developed my own style. Which for me, was big, baggy boy clothes. I STILL hate tight things.
Right! I am trying to help her feel as comfortable as possible within reason to help her avoid some of those social stigmas I felt. But I don’t want her to lose her fun personality to be like everyone else. I hope I can get that message across to her in a way she gets.
Hahaha! Thank you! 🙂 🙂
I agree with the other comments that is it great that they tell you about all this new language and new acronyms. The Birkenstocks in the list surprised me. Back in my day, about a thousand years ago, only hippies wore Birkies. I used to be a weekend Hippie with bell bottom trousers and bells and blue sunglasses and Birkenstock with socks! Hippies…..whatever happened to them?
I thought about Hippies as I wrote this because I was trying to think back in time to any other age that had a name like VSCO – Hippies were all I could come up with! I know the Birks threw me off too. The girls now wear them with Nike crew socks pulled high. It is so interesting to see how these fads develop!
I have a photo of myself in my Hippie gear and I have to chuckle every time I look at it. I was a weekend hippie because the school I went to had uniforms.
How the world has changed, I loved this story. One of my grandsons had a trip out with his Aunty and my daughter text him to ask if he was enjoying himself, he replied “Gucci “ 😳 my daughter texted back “ what does that me?” He replied “ AKA brilliant “ he’s 11, 🙄
Oh, that’s funny! Last year Bobby and his friends called themselves “The Gucci Gang.” And I don’t think he has any idea what Gucci really is. These kids are too funny 🙂
I looked it up in the urban dictionary 🤓 I wonder if that’s the dictionary they use at school nowadays 😉
It reminds me of my youngest whose facebook posts I cannot even begin to fathom, but his friends think he is hilarious. It’s almost as if pop culture is a different planet sometimes…
I know! I am so thankful for Google as I have to look up what some of the jokes mean. And I am completely lost with all the acronyms. I have to look those up too (although I got LOL down) 🙂
We can’t live more that a hundred miles apart, but sometimes I feel like I live on the moon. I’ve never once heard my kids reference cliques or the right clothes or or any social group other than the *rednecks* which is a about a quarter of the student body. My growing up experience was more similar to Cate’s except my overly rebellious nature encouraged me to shun any and all trends. I wore a torn black radio station T-shirt to school every day. Not sure what clique that fit into.
I would still be in the dark if she hadn’t been called out and Bobby filled me in. Crazy what is out there! Yes – I didn’t fit the trend – I was drawn to the torn black radio T-shirt people.
You’re teaching ME new things. Granted, as a child I would have wanted to know about all this, but likely still would have eschewed them as I wanted to be unique. 🙂
I’m just lucky – for this moment alone – to be kind of “in the know.” Everything changes so fast!
It’s amazing what you can learn from riding in the car with kids. It’s like they don’t even realize you’re there – driving! Now I learned something too. Thanks. Now I’m in the know, at least for the moment.
Oh my gosh, yes. I feel like the back or side of my head is the best position for the kids to just let it all out. Goodness, I am sure there is so much I am still not in the know on – and VSCO may be out in a week. But that means for a while I was informed and not “Wait, what?” like I usually am 🙂