Learning New Conversation Skills with Autism

Catelyn sat high in the orthodontist chair, and I in the parent chair across from her.  I looked at my nails and determined they needed clipping.

The door opened and the orthodontist entered.  He extended his hand and greeted me.  Then he turned to Catelyn and smiled.

“Well, hello Miss Catelyn!”

Catelyn sat up in her chair and smiled large.

“HI!” she replied with great relish.

I pulled my head back an inch and furrowed my brow, looking at her.

The orthodontist continued, “So, how have you been this past year?”

Catelyn’s already large smile deepened even further, “I HAVE BEEN GREEAAAAT!” She replied with even more enthusiasm.  To add to her point, she even gave the orthodontist a big thumbs up.

I put my hands out in front of me and pushed the air down, “Calm down!” I mouthed to her, my brow now in thoroughly perplexed position.

“Well, that is great!”  the orthodontist replied, “How about school?  How has that been going for you?”

“School?”  Catelyn asked turning her head slightly to the side, somehow making her smile EVEN BIGGER answered, “School has been FAN-TAS-TIC!”  And to really get THIS point across, she flashed two okay signs with her hands and nodded her head.

I felt the orthodontist look at me as I inspected his ceiling.  Yep, the ceiling was very white.

“Well, that is terrific, Catelyn.  Now, how about we check out your teeth and see how they are moving along.”

Catelyn sat back in her big orthodontist chair ready for teeth inspection.  And I sank in my chair wondering, what was going with Catelyn?

A few days later, my husband and I dropped the big kids off at our church’s youth group.  As we were driving Declan to the store, I told my husband how odd Catelyn was being at the dentist.

“Bob, it was like she was on a stage, performing.  She had lines, and boy, she delivered them.”

“Really?  It all sounds kind of funny.  Why was she acting like that?”

“I don’t know.  I guess it was better than her usual ignoring or “whatever” replies.”

“I guess.  Know what she told me the other day?”

“What?”

“She told me that Sarah’s dad came in to help out and I asked if she was polite to him.  Guess what she said?”

“What!?”

“She said, ‘Dad, don’t worry – I “kill it” with parents.  They LOVE me!’”

“Haha…no she didn’t!  Oh, she so funny.  Remember when she was happy about her test because she “nailed it?”  Oh, she cracks me up!”

(Exhibit A)

My husband and I continued to speculate on Catelyn’s newfound comfort with talking to parents.  Was she talking to them like she did the orthodontist?  Did she find a script to follow and act out?  We kind of shrugged.  Here’s why:

1.      She is currently comfortable talking with adults.

2.      I do not know want to criticize her if she feels good about talking to adults.

3.      I can try to tell her to calm down her inflection a bit.  If she is scripting, there is a difference between acting and talking.  We can try to figure it out.

In the past, Catelyn has had a very hard time talking with adults and being disrespectful.  She had no problem asking a new adult, “Who are you?” with an apathetic look on her face – and it doesn’t matter how important the professional was she was speaking to.  Catelyn can really come across as rude.

Seeing her in this new role is a change.  A change I am happy to explore with her, to teach her new ways to communicate!