On New Ground

When I started my blog way back in 2016, my goal was to share some helpful tips and to educate others about autism.  Since I cannot speak from anyone else’s perspective, I spoke specifically as a parent to children on the autism spectrum.

By no means was I ever a pro parent, let alone a pro parent to a child with autism.  Like everyone else, I was figuring a lot of stuff out as I went.  In 2016 when I started my blog, Declan was about to turn 5 years old – and by that time – I had figured a few things out that I thought might be worth sharing.

At that point, I had received a lot of positive feedback from friends that said I could make a subject like echolalia easier for everyone to understand. Friends recommended starting a blog with this useful information.

So, I did.

In 2016 Declan was still in his special education preschool. We decided to hold him back a year instead of starting kindergarten.  He was not yet potty trained.  He still resolved most problems with aggression. Declan was a darter/eloper. He did not sleep more than a few hours a night. He had a limited vocabulary and only ate a handful of foods. Declan did not see other people, only his objective.

And all castles made of blocks or sand were meant to be destroyed.

In 2016 we were finding new ways to accomplish the things we used to do as a family. We were slowly pulling away from “We can’t do that” and using different strategies to have successful outings.

Even vacations.

It was when we were on vacation in 2016 that I wrote the post “Autism, Vacationing, and Elopement.”

I thought it would be cringy to read that post, as some of my earlier posts do leave me with an “Eww” feeling.  But when I checked this one out last week, I nodded my head.  Yeah, not bad. 

Writing aside, I was interested to see where we were five years ago.  And ALL the tricks we used to keep him safe.  Wow.  What a different time.

I read on and remembered the post “Why and How We Make Autism Visible.”  Again, I didn’t cringe.  Again, I remembered the past when a store employee and I would be chasing Declan from the tops of arcades only to get a stern look once he was retrieved.

This all came to the forefront of my mind after our last vacation.  Declan earned the title of “Vacation MVP.” Unlike the other two, he didn’t talk back.  There was no attitude.  Declan was filled with compliance and positivity.

Not only that, I didn’t have to chase him around a beach.  I didn’t have to apologize to kids and their families for Declan destroying a castle they had worked hours creating.  We could spend more than 20 minutes on the beach before heading home.  I didn’t have to closet all of the decorations the rented shore house possessed to keep them safe. I didn’t have to monitor all social encounters or apologize for thrown sand or punches.  Declan maneuvered through his own gained social circles. Like a pro.

I happily walked down streets with Declan singing at the top of his lungs with a smile on my face.  I spent my evenings on the beach or the boardwalk with Big D proudly donning and talking to (and for) Cranky Pete. I happily packed his trampoline so he could stim in the garage.

I still write an autism blog, although a lot of posts these days tend to steer to other subjects and are not always about tips for parenting autistic children or educational pieces on autism. Autism is just a part of our story and will continue to pop in its head.

In some ways, Declan has found himself and happily talks about his special autism trait.  Catelyn can see herself in a different light and new understanding. I have grown up a lot myself. What was new, confusing, and challenging for me before I can see has evolved into something else – a completely cool way of life.

I gave tips on things that helped our family many years ago. I may only have one tip left:

Do what works best for you and your family.

And enjoy the ride!