The door to the classroom opened, and a student came in. She tapped the shoulder of another student who then went out into the hallway.
I gave two thumbs up to the little reader in front of me, then turned my attention to the group and smiled.
“Is anyone else ready to read to me?” I asked. Every couple of weeks I sign on as the parent volunteer in Declan’s classroom to listen to little readers. I love to see the little faces in earnest, working through new words.
A little hand shot in the air. I nodded and leaned forward to listen to a story about bicycles.
The door to the classroom opened again and the student returned to tap the shoulder of another student to go out in the hallway.
“Great job!” I congratulated when the bicycle story was complete, “Who is ready now?”
Behind the hand that shot in the air I saw Declan standing, eyes welled with tears. I pointed to the hand to begin and whispered, “Declan! What’s wrong?”
He looked to me and a tear fell fast from his face.
“I don’t want to go out there. Don’t make me go out there.”
Before I could gather any more, the door to the hallway opened and a woman with a clipboard came into view.
“Declan! Hey buddy! It’s your turn. Ready?”
Declan wiped his face, and with eyes wide to the ground, he nodded and stepped outside.
Declan’s teacher looked to me from across the room and mouthed, “Is he okay?”
I signed back, “He’s crying.”
The teacher looked out in the hallway and whispered, “We test the kids every marking period to see where they are to the benchmark. If needed, I will go over it with him myself, later.”
A couple of minutes pass then Declan returned, flopping to his chair. Another student went to the hallway, and the cycle continued.
Earlier in the year, Declan’s benchmarks were assessed. Everything looked great except for one.
![20190220_142552[1]](https://i0.wp.com/www.autismfamilypower.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/02/20190220_1425521-1500120189-1550690962501.jpg?resize=300%2C169&ssl=1)
When discussed, the teacher relayed, “I didn’t give him that one. A substitute did. I retested him the next day. He got a 63. So, it is not that he didn’t know it, it was the presence of a stranger.”
That is not the only test Declan has failed when a stranger administered it to him.
A couple of years ago I wrote about processing verbal information with autism. I wrote about Declan getting his sight and hearing checked. After watching Declan look at anything except the eye chart next to the nurse, I realized I had to stand in front of the nurse to block her from Declan’s view. Once blocked, Declan achieved perfect vision and hearing scores.
When he was tested six months later at the school (by a stranger) he failed. He was considered partially blind and deaf and further testing (paperwork from our Doctor) was needed.
The other day I ran across this bit of information and really connected with it. There are a lot of things on here that will cause an emotional outburst from Declan. Stress, chaos, noise, (not listed – Transitions for us, BIG TIME) – being ignored. But there is one on here that elicits a different kind of behavior from Declan.
![dfb089441d5d9efcbfe81d059e2fe008[1]](https://i0.wp.com/www.autismfamilypower.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/02/dfb089441d5d9efcbfe81d059e2fe0081.jpg?resize=564%2C797&ssl=1)
The presence of a stranger will cause Declan to shut down.
In the past, I have written about my concerns with Declan shutting down in the presence of a stranger. How will his behavior be interpreted?
What if he was ever in an emergency and needed to follow directions from a first responder? What if he didn’t comply? Would they be able to recognize he COULDN’T comply?
Autism involves problems with socializing and communication. Processing what one hears is a large part of social communication.
And when Declan is faced with a stranger, he is unable to process what they are saying. He shuts down.
I am now realizing how this act of shutting down is affecting him at school, which is great. Because now I know what I can do to help in the future when he’s assessed by someone he doesn’t know.
The effect of the tester on the results… in its most literal form!
Yep! That’s true!
Need to have a sign or something on him that warns emergency personnel he will NOT respond to a stranger. Have no idea how to protect him in a life or death situation!
We have a bracelet for him to wear and that helps!
Transitions are HUGE with Ben too. I find myself putting on my mental “battle gear” prepared for screaming, hitting, running destruction…then when I’m ready, he breezes through and does fine😕😂
I’ve not noticed strangers being upsetting to Ben. He’s a total ham and seeks attention or ignores them.
With testing it’s always hit and miss. It doesn’t matter who does the testing. It all depends on whether he feels like responding or not.
It’s great that you’re able to spend time in his classroom. I did that with both my girls through 5th grade (12 years! since they’re 6yrs apart) but we haven’t been able to with Ben. Yet. We’ll keep hoping.
Oh my goodness yes – all transitions – Tough!
Yeah, Declan does not do well when a new face is asking him questions. He looks up, down and all around – but cannot focus on anything with a new face there asking him something. Definitely a trigger for him.
I am so happy to go! I used to go to Bobby’s room and then I had Declan with no one to watch him. But now it works out and it is great to be a fly on the wall too to see what his day is like.
I have my fingers crossed for you! You’re right – yet!
Yes our son can shut down if faced with the unexpected, the out of schedule. The impact does make me afraid. It’s manageble if I am about but what if I’m not there. Trying to work on giving him easily recalled things he can do to self block out the sensory overload and anxiety. You are doing a brilliant job.
Yes, same. I am so happy Declan’s teacher has picked up on this and understands that it is not that he doesn’t know something, but that he is facing a stranger which is hard for him. But also makes me concerned for the future and how flexible are future teachers going to be with this. I knew it happened, I just didn’t know how far it went in school. I thought he just accepted school, and all the people in it, as one thing. Glad I figured it out as we move forward! Thank you – you are too!
So glad that you know why he is shutting down at school. And I am sure watching it happen, helped you to know, and understand. It’s so hard the not knowing why for any given situation, but knowing, helps figure out how to make it better. For us, that’s half the battle with Tyson. I am glad you know now and I pray too, that in the future as he grows older and goes up in grades, that he will still have teachers that understand and I will also pray that maybe one day, a stranger won’t have the same effect it has now. Tyson used to be terrified on everyone, but he is very social on so many levels with all the different therapists he has had change over the past two years. He still hides in the waiting rooms or if we are somewhere new, he will hide behind me, but he is lucky he hasn’t hit the shut down mode with meeting a substitute. Hugs to you Robyn, as you and Declan continue to press forward! Love you guys!
Thank you so much, Carlene! Hugs and prayers for you and Tyson as you press forward as well! Love you guys too!
It’s scary to think of the implications in a critical event, but you’ve really shed light on the importance of day to day situations too, that can have some pretty major results. It’s not much of a test at all if it’s measuring things so poorly.
That is true! Probably isn’t much of a test if it can’t assess what it is supposed to!
This is another example of how teachers and leaders need to understand more of each person rather than placing everyone in a certain category or box. Ever child, teen and adult is different, as we all know. God bless the ones who take the time to understand others first. 🙂
I completely agree – right on!
Thank you for sharing this! Yes -many of these set my son off.
I first got involved when he was accused of bullying by another parent and the school wanted Change of Routine (moving him to a new classroom) to help resolve things… *sigh* I’m so glad I was able to help him transition then, despite not knowing what you’ve pointed out here.
Aww…I am glad you were able to help him transition rooms. Sometimes I feel like I figure something out much later with Declan. I knew he had a hard time with strangers, but I did not know it would present itself the way it did in the school. It is so hard to sometimes!
It’s just always a work in progress; a learning in progress. 🙂
Maybe i havent got all the info here but, this just sounds like a shy child. If Declan is partially blind and deaf, could this not be the reason he doesnt respond and is scared of strangers?
I know if i was it would affect me greatly and im an adult.
Working with him to improve his confidence might help, a lot. Treating him as if there is something wrong with him will only reinforce the problem. I read in one comment that you have a bracelet on him, again this is a daily remander to him that he is different from other children.
I apologise for my ignorance if I have took up your post wrong.
Delcan can see and hear perfectly well – he just failed the test at school when a stranger gave it to him. When I stood in front of the nurse at the Dr’s office and blocked her from his view, he passed both tests perfectly. It is the presence of a stranger that becomes so overwhelming to him that he is no longer able to focus on what the stranger is saying to process their directions.