“Will you please, just put on your coat! It is cold. I can see you shivering! You are going to get sick!” I said to Cate as I looked up to the street light to see if we could cross.
“I can’t! I don’t like the way it feels!” Catelyn replied, exasperated.
“But you obviously don’t like the way the cold feels either. And I am not going to like the way the Dr.’s office feels when we have to go after you get sick from being out here without a coat!”
The little green man flashed on the cross walk sign and we began to cross the road. Catelyn and I walking with me towing Declan in the wagon.
“You don’t have autism. You do not know how the coat feels to me.”
I sighed. No. I didn’t know how the coat felt to Catelyn. I’m just a parent trying to keep my child healthy.
I looked back at Declan riding in the wagon. Snug as bug in his big coat, with a hat on his head and a blanket on his lap. Staring off, enjoying his ride.
And I marveled, how two children, with the SAME diagnosis, could be affected by autism in different ways.
Declan could not explain how awful the coat felt to Catelyn. He likes his big coat! And Catelyn could not explain how Declan’s legs feel when he goes for long walks so instead, he rides in a wagon. She likes to run!
It’s the end of Autism Awareness/Acceptance month. And to wrap it up, I’ve collected the autism bits that have been given to Bobby and his classmates everyday this month on their morning announcements.
I was happily surprised that Bobby’s school added these bits of information to the announcement. It took a couple of seconds each day to read each one, but the information is out there. And the more people know about autism, the similarities and the differences, the greater chance my kids have of being understood and enjoying happy fulfilling lives.
The prevalence of autism is now 1 in 59. The more we know, the more we know about the variations within the diagnosis, the more we can support those on the spectrum.
That’s what April means to me.
So, here they are, some final informational bits of the month.
Not all people with autism are able to speak. This doesn’t mean they don’t have a voice, and it certainly doesn’t mean their world is a quiet one. You should never assume incompetence due to a lack of words. They are able to listen and understand more than you know, so please talk to them too. Finding a way to communicate with someone without using verbal language can be the most beautiful thing you’ll ever do.
Autism can mean at times the world is overwhelming to a person’s senses. Sights, sounds, touch, smells that you might feel are normal can all be too much. The processing of these senses can be very different for each person. This can trigger meltdowns when out in public places. Try and be aware, and rather than staring, see if you can help
Routine is often important for someone with autism. Knowing what’s coming next can relieve any anxiety they are feeling. However, the ability to be flexible is important too. Trying to find the right balance is the key.
Somebody having a meltdown is not the same as someone misbehaving. There is a difference. During a meltdown a person loses control of their feelings and actions. A meltdown can often lead to self-harming or self-injurious behaviors. Getting angry and frustrated with someone when they do this does not help; what they really need is compassion.
Autism can affect how a person communicates with and relates to others. This might lead to them being seen as “anti-social,” which isn’t always the case. They may find it difficult to express what they need and how they feel, which can make life extremely challenging at times.
People with Autism Have Terrific Memories
People on the autism spectrum are often much more tuned in to details. They may have a much better memory than their typical peers for all kind of critical details.
And to reiterate the bit from day one:
Autism is a spectrum. While a lot of people with a diagnosis will share some common traits, autism will affect them in different ways. Everybody is different. This may make it more difficult to understand, but it’s important you do. Treat everyone with autism as you would anyone else, as individuals.
Hang in there…even on the days when they need the coat and you don’t know what it feels like, but they need the coat….because most of all, they need you!!
Thank you, Jeff!
I’m still so thrilled that Bobby’s school did that. Such a little thing that means so much and can potentially make such a huge difference.
I know – me too! That was really awesome
Thank you Robyn for sharing this information. It makes a big difference in understanding small differences.
Hello, I have nominated you for the sunshine blog award! Check out the link
http://faithandbooks.com/2018/05/01/sunshine-blogger-award/
Thank you so much!
Hi Robyn. I have certainly learnt a lot of new things about autism from your blog and the extra bits of information that I have picked up from other sources this month. Like all things, understanding something comes from learning more about it.
Hi Kim, that is great to hear. I agree and I learn a lot about animals (and some I didn’t even know existed!) from your posts too!
There isn’t a day I read one of your posts & I learn something new! Keep up your process of trying to educate the world about autism. Eventually, it will sink in to even the dullest of minds, like mine!
Thank you, Jeanette! And P.S. I don’t think you have a dull mind AT ALL 🙂
Excellent perspective! Thanks for sharing! ❤️
Thank you!
As a parent who has bought and returned every pair of shorts in a 30 mile radius looking for the style that “feels right” I feel your pain.
The clothes! I can’t even buy the same size/brand of pant that has worked in the past because they have the potential to feel “weird.” Now it’s the shoes though – shoes and socks. And brushing hair. I just check the “success” block if I get her on the bus in time without tears.