The Empty Trail

“Raaaahh-byn.”

That’s how my dear, late Uncle Wayne used to say my name. 

He would say my name as a single statement, hands up, palms facing me as he prepared my listening ears for the wisdom he was preparing to bestow.  Serious eyes through thick glasses.

Most of the wisdom my Uncle Wayne saved up for me was given to me in my teenage years.  So, it goes without saying, whenever I heard my name in statement form, I felt this sense of dread.  Oh no, here we go again.

“Raaaaahh-byn.”  On full second of eternity passed before he continued, “You’ve got to be prepared.  You can’t put yourself in a position of vulnerability.”

That was always the theme of my Uncle’s musings.  Don’t let THEM get you, because THEY are always trying to get you.

Be alert.  Be aware.  Know basic car maintenance.  Know how to change a tire.  Never put yourself in an unsafe position.  Know how to take care of things yourself.

These days I miss hearing new bits of wisdom from my dear old Uncle Wayne although he need not worry – his messages have been ingrained in my brain.

So, when I stepped on the trail Saturday for my long run I was dismayed as I looked left, and then right, to see the trail completely empty.

There was a 5K in a nearby neighborhood shutting down all the streets in the vicinity.  I took the super long way around and parked in an alternate parking lot to land myself on the trail.  I guessed not many people knew about those lots.  On Saturdays the trails are usually very full, loaded with multiple sets of people in sight.  It’s then I feel safe listening to music when I run.

But on Saturday, as I looked left and right, I heard him.

“Raaaahh-byn.”

“Alright, fine,” I thought and tucked my music back into my coat pocket.  It would be time with my mind, no distractions.

Is this one of those things that bothers me?  You bet.  One of those things male runners probably never have to worry about.  Being attacked on a run.  For us ladies?  The threat’s always there.

Since that isn’t going to change – be alert, be aware.  Just like my dear old Uncle Wayne taught me.

Having listened to news radio for years, this is how I gauge my choices.

If I were to hear my decision read over the news would I respond with a “Ooooo, that sounds bad.”

“Local runner was attacked while out running.  She didn’t hear her attacker approach as she had headphones on, making her an easy target.”

Not that it would be my fault for being attacked, but the outcome may be different if I were aware of my surroundings.

A friend once told me her thought process was similar, but for her it’s a court room.  She figures if she were to hear two people fighting over her choice that had a negative outcome, would she feel okay with her choice still, or feel like an idiot?

Oh, how our decisions are guided.

I thought about all this while I was running.  At least for the first half and hour or so.  Then I thought about the day and weeks ahead.  I thought about the aches and pains that popped up.  I thought about poor Declan’s face that morning after the elves sat in the same spot, they had been in for two days already.  Turns out remembering to move the elf is a struggle for all four of us, leaving Declan in tears wondering why the elf won’t play hide and seek with him anymore.

Then, I guess, I thought a lot about nothing.  Nothing I can remember at least.

My long runs in the weeks ahead will be during the week as the weekends ahead are stuffed with activities.  The trails are already desolate during the week, so I never expect to listen to music then. 

Instead of music, maybe I’ll just reminisce and think about all the wisdom one dear Uncle made sure to pass on to keep his niece safe…..from THEM.