The Frustration of Waiting

I heard little feet and giggling coming up the basement stairs with the sound of paper brushing against the wall.

“Dad?”  Declan called, looking at his device waiting for a response with a crumpled pile of papers in his hand.

“He’s not here,” I answered.

“Bobby?” Declan asked walking toward the front window to peek out.

“He’s with Dad.  What’s up?”

Declan giggled and skipped towards me.

“I want him to do the “guess it right” challenge!”  Declan squealed and placed the papers on the table in front of me.  “Pick one!” he exclaimed.

I looked at the paper he had put down.  There were four larges circles haphazardly drawn and colored in.

“Just pick one?” I asked, and after he nodded, I pointed to the bright green circle.  “I pick this one.”

“WRONG!” Declan yelled and fell into an imaginary pool of laughter.

I looked at the paper and flipped it over.  Sure enough, under the other circles there were all check marks.  Under the bright green circle there was an ‘X.’

“Well, you got me!  Are these circles on all those papers in the stack?”

Declan nodded and returned to look out the window, “I can’t wait for Daddy to come home so I can play this challenge with him!”

Declan hopped up and down, squealing again.  With the papers gripped in one hand and his device in the other, Declan hopped onto the couch and began to jump, stimming and listening to his new favorite song about the U.S. Presidents.

Eventually the front door opened, and the rest of the family appeared.  Declan jumped from the sofa and yelled, “Dad!”

“Hey Declan!  How are you?”

“I WANT TO DO THE ‘GUESS IT RIGHT’ CHALLENGE WITH YOU!”

“Okay, just give me five minutes I need to talk with Mom first.”

“I WANT TO DO THE ‘GUESS IT RIGHT’ CHALLENGE WITH YOU!”

Declan made a grunting sound and hopped around.

My husband put up the ‘wait’ sign and began to talk to me.  After about thirty seconds of conversation Declan burst:

“I WANT TO DO THE ‘GUESS IT RIGHT’ CHALLENGE WITH YOU!”

“You need to wait a few more minutes.  Go listen to your song again, okay?”

Declan started to get agitated and grunted, swaying from foot to foot.

My husband hesitated to start again.  After a few seconds he continued.

“I WANT TO DO THE ‘GUESS IT RIGHT’ CHALLENGE WITH YOU!” Declan cried throwing his device into the air.

My husband sighed and looked down.  Diagnosed with ADD my husband has a hard time keeping a thought in mind long enough to express it, even on his medications.

“Bobby?” I called, “Can you do a challenge with Declan for a few minutes while I talk with Dad?”

“Sure!”

A relieved Declan laughed his way through the challenge he was so desperate to play.   And I got the rest of the information my husband was trying so desperately to remember.

One of the harder things for Declan is patience.

Patience is hard concept for any child to learn.  For Declan it has been near impossible.

Time is abstract and waiting is not fun.

Heaven forbid an expected Amazon prime package does not arrive in the two allotted days.  Or even worse, we order from Ebay – the mailbox is checked hourly with hours of frustrated tears.

Waiting for requested food, waiting in line, waiting rooms (the name brings terror alone!) – all require patience.

“Just give me five minutes” or “the package won’t be here until Friday” are words that are lost on Declan’s brain.

So, we go to the workarounds.  The distractors.  Sensory toys.  Help from Bobby.  Anything to help fill the empty time.

And pull from our patience to help Declan through his frustration with waiting.