“Do you know what, Mom? We see a lot of pictures of the house, but we do not know what the hallways look like. We see the rooms. But we do not see how they connect.”
I stopped and looked at Declan. “Huh, you’re right,” I added.
“We do not know what the hallways look like…I wonder what they look like..,” he repeated and walked away.
The Hallways of Vacation
We were headed out on vacation. We planned our trip. We figured out where we would stay and some of the things we would do.
And to help Declan with the transition from home to vacation living, I showed him all the pictures of the place we would be staying. As many times he wanted to see them.
We saw where he was going to watch TV. We saw where he may sleep and the couch where he could play his device.
On the surface, the vacation was proving to be harder than I thought.
I knew the long car ride was going to be hard. I had his device and portable DVD player with the Aladdin DVD ready to go.
I knew the hotel we had to stay at for one night was different. But I told him about it to get him ready.
I knew travelling is hard on anyone. It’s tiring. It’s riddled with little hiccups. They just happen.
I know heat is a known aggressor/agitator (psych 101 freshman year at college – and without reading that in a textbook, I know my attitude resembles that of a hairy beast until I get under a fan and my furry hide sheds and my fangs disappear).
I know vacations can be busy. Places to visit. Things to see. Tiring, and especially hard for those with sleep issues.
I knew traveling to a new location was going to be different. But we thought it was time we could try something new.
I knew these things. I tried to plan for them and keep as many things the same as I could to help the transition. But some things you can’t plan for.
We have had some tough moments. Some darting, some screaming. Actually, lots of screaming.
The attention of others has been drawn to our family. A LOT. But we stay focused on what is important. Each other.
We have each handed the “I need a break” baton to another for support. And we have been able to support one another
And in the big picture? We are having a really great vacation.
There is a ton of information out there to help you prepare to take your children with autism on vacation. Heck, I think I even wrote a post about it.
And you can plan and prepare for lots of stuff.
But sometimes you don’t know what the “hallways” are going to look like. Or how they are going to connect the pieces that you do know.
This week I have seen each family member say, “I got this, you go ahead” and realize that with a supportive family, we are strong. And making wonderful memories for years to come!
Declan loves to learn about sea creatures – so a trip to the aquarium was a must!
The dinosaurs moved and made growling sounds. This was as close as Declan going to get! 🙂
And lots of beach time. Playing the sand and waves – another favorite for the whole family!
Yay, enjoy 😊
Thank you! 🙂
All of our favorite memories of family vacations, when the girls were young and the ex & I were still together, include arguments and things that went wrong, as well as all the fun things we saw and did.
The bad times and the good times are part of life. Sharing them all, together as a family is what matters. Looks like your family knows this.
Forget the Judgey McJudgeypants. They don’t matter. Just the five of you, loving, laughing, yes – yelling too, and making memories!💌💌💌💌💌
You’re right – sharing them all together is what matters. Traveling can be stressful and can cause fights – and there have been things I didn’t think of that have caused some scary stressful periods – but you are right – we are together and making memories with it all – and it’s great! 🙂
This is such a great post! Families without your extra challenges struggle to support each other. I love that your family seems to have mastered sharing the load…. this is something really hard to do! 😊
Thank you so much! Yes, traveling can be stressful in itself. I love that the big kids have found ways to help as well in ways like reading a story or playing a game – it’s really special and helps make for great memories!
😊 a great family memory for sure!
There’s nothing like a family vacation. 😊
You’re right! 🙂
So much of this is familiar–we have to plan & layout everything for my son, even though I’m always forgetting something! It’s true though–it’s all about the memories 🙂
Yes! We tried to plan for as much as we could – and then the “Ooooo, I didn’t think about that…uh-oh!” happens 🙂
Traveling can be really stressful with my son, but I am happy to say it’s gotten better now that he’s older. Even the stressful times create good memories- it’s the bonding and shared experiences that we remember.
I agree! It can be stressful at times, and we thought since things were getting better to try something new – and there has been a lot of fun times! Those are the memories we will take with us 🙂
This is a post I really connected with when traveling with someone who sees the world from a different angle. I would not think of the hallways but having two boys that have their own unique struggles I can totally see how this could come up.
One of the things we have to do for our son Jayden is not talk about too many plans ahead of time because he struggles with the concept of time and sort of gets stuck on certain plans, they spin around in his head for days and weeks, in an obsessive sort of way, as he tries to get comfortable with the plan and anticipate what is coming.
Yes! I can relate! If things do not go the way Declan has mentally planned, then we have a meltdown. For this trip we stopped at a hotel for a night – which I told him about. But I guess he didn’t understand. So when we got there, and were trying to go inside, he lost it and started running away from us into traffic. To him, the hotel may have been the place we got the keys for our house and then he could sit on the couch he had seen and planned to watch his videos. It’s a tough balance!
It sounds familiar… you sound like a wonderful mother trying to help him feel safe and comfortable, even in a new situation! ❤️
That is so kind – thank you so much! 🙂
Vacation hallways! You are a wise mother, Robyn!
Thanks Jeff! 🙂