“What it’s like to have a Brother with Autism” by Spencer Timme

“Rick ‘em, rack ‘em, rock ‘em, rake. Stick that sword into that snake!”

“You stay out of this!”

“Jafar, Jafar, he’s our man. If he can’t do it…

GREAT!”

When I saw the word prompt today was “genie,” I thought – “well, got nothing on that one” and moved on with my day.

Much to the big kid’s dismay, on any given day, Declan is the first one home.  Not that they mind him coming home, they mind that as the first one home, he gets to pick the TV show.

The first Disney movie Declan clicked with was “Frozen” when he was two years old.  Although “Let it go” is still a favorite song, the movie is not one he returns to often.

The movies Declan returns to – over and over and over again are “The Lorax,” “Big Hero 6” and “Aladdin.”

Today, as I was cleaning up dinner, the final scene from Aladdin was on the TV.  And as Jafar wanted to use his final wish to become an all-powerful genie – I thought of the word prompt.

Then I thought of Declan’s love for this Disney movie and its ability to stand the test of time.  I think we have all seen the movie so much that we could act the scenes out – VERBATIM.

Then I wondered if the movie would be one that Declan will still love as he continues to age.  When he gets to middle school, high school – will his love for the movie fade or will it still shine on?

Then I thought of another individual on the autism spectrum and his love for a Disney song.  I thought of his brother, Spencer, and the video he made about what it’s like having a brother with autism.

Then I thought I’d share it.

A few years ago I saw this video for the first time.  I think it is wonderful.  I encourage you to watch it as it is very heart felt and moving.  And if you watch it to the end, you will know why my mind went to these brothers and Disney.

Enjoy!

Here is what Spencer says:

“I’m Spencer Timme, I’m 20 years old and my big brother, Mitchel, has autism.

You know, people always ask me, “Spencer, what is like to have an autistic brother? Is it hard, frustrating, is it different?” I kind of laugh at the question and I’m just, like, “No,” “Not really” and “I don’t know.” I mean, I guess it’s different in that as an older brother, he doesn’t really give me advice on women or he can’t buy me alcohol. I never got beat up by him all throughout my childhood like most brotherly relationships. But we do have our own unique bond.  And like normal siblings, he still definitely acknowledges that HE is the big brother. Whenever he says, “Spencer is eaten by the shark” or him saying, “Mitchel is a… girl,” he knows how to provoke a response from me. His way of taunting. He pretends to shoot me all the time in the hallway, and he has a vicious bear hug. Like normal siblings, we can get on each other’s nerves, but we can always sort it out by having a wrestling match. But he’s usually calling for Mom and Dad within a minute because he has zero resilience to tickling.

Our relationship is special. Not one person understands him the way I do. Our bond is strong. He is the most important person to me. I will always protect him.  And he is my brother.

Mitchel is a special human being, and I don’t mean it because he’s autistic.  I mean it because he is one of a kind. He never ceases to amaze me. You know, my mom told me when Mitchel was maybe 8 or 9, my parents were told that my brother should stop his therapy because they believed he was never going to improve his speech, his ability to interact, they said he probably reached his max capacity. He proved them wrong. Last summer, he rode a surfboard all by himself.  He sang a song at his high school graduation and he’s even a gold medalist in the Special Olympics. When I ask him, “what day did we do so and so?” he’ll give me the exact date, like, “Oh, October 7, 1999.”  It’s incredible.  He can draw, cook, type, sing, surf, dance — he can pretty much do it all — but that’s not the main reason why I think he’s special. You know, he has this ability to make everyone around him happy, my family, my friends he meets, the people at the rec center he attends, his workplace, and especially me. He makes me a better person.

He has taught me to find the joy in the little things. He has taught me patience, understanding and perspective. Although I play the big brother role by the way I take care of him, I do look up to him. I learn from him every day.

I think about this all the time you know, I can’t wait for him to be the best man at my wedding. When I have kids, their favorite Uncle Mitchel will always be up for watching Disney movies and playing pirates or princesses with them. I’m so blessed to have him in my life.

And here’s to you, Mitchel — thank you for being my brother and my best friend.

So maybe to end with the question I had in the beginning – “What’s it like to have an autistic brother?”  Well, I do have an answer: It’s incredible.”