What’s in a Word?

The “F” word.

If the kids were to come home and regale us with a story of some unfortunate soul who, with either clear intent or complete mishap, were to “pass gas” so to speak, they know there is a way to relay this story without allowing the “F” word to pass their lips.

At school they must share stories and openly laugh at who “F”arted in class or study hall.  But the story gets doctored at home.

When I met Bob, the “F” word was not one that was spoken in his family of origin.  Maybe because there was a better way to label the event, or the “F” word was just too crass.  I laughed when I heard their misnomer when I met Bob, but I adapted as couples do, and adopted his terminology in regard to flatulence.

Bumper.

Did you bumper?  She bumpered.  Do you smell that bumper?  Oh my gosh, at school Jenna BUMPERED – it was so loud!

We can throw the word bumper around all day, but the second the “F” word drops there is an obvious shudder on the side of the room Bob is standing on.

In my family of origin, we often joke how we cannot get through a single dinner without the mention of poo.  Usually, if I am bringing it up it is in joke form.  At a recent family dinner, I used words to describe this funny image surrounding the issue.

Or, since we had always been a dog family, the topic of who was going to “scoop the poop” often came up for discussion at a time when we were all present.  Which often fell at the dinner table.

If Bob was taught to say “bumper” over the “F” word, chances are his dog family didn’t have conversations about who was going to “scoop the poop” at the dinner table, right?

Bob brought to me new terminology for this task as well.  One did not “scoop the poop,” one “cleaned up the dog dirt.”

Dog dirt.  That’s pretty clever.  I can dig it. (The terminology, and I guess the poo too).

Lately, I have come to realize I am turning into my grandmother.  Even in retirement, my grandmother had a very set chore schedule.  She would get very upset if her chores were displaced on unintended days.  I don’t get upset (yet) but do follow a schedule.

The dreaded ironing is done on Fridays.  Grocery shopping on Mondays and Thursdays.  Kids rooms are vacuumed on Monday (to clean up from the weekend) and Friday (to clean up from the week).  Every day, the trash and recycling get emptied, vacuuming, laundry, dishes.   

And every Thursday, before the trash man comes, I clean up the dog dirt for immediate removal.

Getting through my daily chores is like the same dread one has for any everyday routine that has run its course.  And I’m ready for change.

Do your kids have chores?  A few years ago, I started with the basic with the big kids.  Put your clean laundry away, make your bed and, honest to gosh since they all hate the feel of a toothbrush in their mouth, brush your teeth.  I feel it’s time to add a couple more.

The topic of “dog dirt” has come up quite frequently.  The chore has been handed down.  And through much “discussion,” Catelyn has gagged her way through the chore.  Twice.  Emptying the dishwasher (Catelyn) and trash/recycling removal (Bobby) have also been handed down.  Over the summer, the weekly chore of mowing the lawn (Bobby) will also be handed down.

I like the idea of the kids learning these important life skills.  I like for them to see all that it takes to keep a house in working order.  That it works better when we are all involved. 

And I’d like for Declan to do a chore as well.  For all the same reasons.

In the past two weeks Declan has dressed himself three times with clothes I have laid out for him.  I have never considered dressing Declan as a chore but having him dress himself, I’ve realized, is wonderful.  I am freed up and he IS learning an important life skill.

I am hoping to slowly add a bit more, just like I did with the big kids.  Making his own bed will come first and it most likely will be done by both of us for a while.  Then hopefully, by him alone and on to another chore.

Although, I’ve come to realize the power of words and their meanings.  If I am going to get Declan to do something he’d rather not, then I foresee that Declan won’t be doing “chores” per se.  Heck if we can take the “F” word and make it a bumper, can’t we take the “C” word and make it something better? 

My wheels will definitely be turning 😊