Would You Rather…More Sleep? Yes Please! Autism and Sleep Issues

Have you ever played the “Would You Rather“ game?

It is a game where two options are provided, and you must choose one over the other.  There are some options that are more horrible than others, but the game really makes you think (and laugh).

My husband and I actually met each other playing this game with mutual friends.

The question we still laugh about that was asked to my husband that night was:

“Would you rather live in a world without beer or condiments.”

Unwilling to admit at the time that he has issues with food and doesn’t eat ANY condiments he chose beer.  He figured it was better that I didn’t think he was a lush rather than some weird guy with food issues.

I eventually learned about the food issues and STILL ended up marrying the weird guy.

I was thinking about this game again recently when I was pondering a question of my own in my head.

“Would you rather be tired all the time, or hungry?”

Me?  I’d rather be hungry.  Because I go into full scale cranky toddler mode when I am tired.

When it comes to me and my need for sleep, I am at a small disadvantage.  I have a child with sleep issues, so therefore, I am tired.

The statistics are all over the place, but if you have a child on the spectrum, there’s a REALLY GOOD chance you know what I am talking about here.

When our kids were babies, my husband and I subscribed to the “cry it out“ method to help them learn to sleep through the night – which really worked well for our older two.

(How we kept Catelyn in her room when she went to her big girl bed – it worked!)

This method was lost on Declan.  He just wasn’t tired.  And I soon realized if I heard him awake in his room and he wasn’t crying to get out, I had every reason to be concerned with what he was in to.

To make matters worse, at 18 months of age Declan started throwing himself out of his crib.

You can imagine the difficult situation we were faced with.  Declan was too young for a bed, but the crib was no longer safe to put him in at night.

And Declan wasn’t diagnosed yet.  I was just one tired Mom trying to find a way to get some sleep!

We tried everything but nothing was working.  We were left with a last resort.  With the Dr.’s permission, we emptied his room of everything except his bed and a hanging nightlight, reversed the handle and locked him in his room at night.

(With frequent checks when it was quiet – that is kind of on the bed, right?)

The 2, 3, 4 AM banging on his door didn’t stop.  It was causing a family of grumpbots to emerge each morning, so when the banging started, I began just taking Declan downstairs – for me to chase around until he eventually wound down.

Over the years we’ve added and changed patterns to his routine to help Declan sleep through the night.  I kept a sleep journal.  Natural sunlight during the day.  Deep pressure, the weighted blanket, no screen time before bed, co-sleeping and even increasing his dosage of Melatonin.

But alas, sleep issues still reign.  3, 4, 5 AM wake ups are not uncommon.  And becoming a factor.

At Declan’s IEP meeting last week the team members all voiced one major concern.

“Throughout the day he will fall asleep, sometimes for an hour or two.”

His first year of all-day school.  His first year of no breaks in his day.

His first year where his sleep issues are popping through the seams.

Not one to nap, this behavior is new to Declan.  He must really be tired.  Which will factor in when I return to the drawing board – and try to figure out what to try next to help him get a good night’s rest!